reverie
by trypophobica
Summary: "what are you saying, exactly?" her sad voice is quiet pinpricks, poking gaping holes in his resolve. "the treatment might not do much, if anything at all." he gushes, a confession pouring out of his mouth like blood. / or, the ending to the show that everyone was afraid of. au-ish. whump and angst all around.


**a/n:** i wrote this one on my phone. xP it's pretty good, give it a chance, i actually cried a bit writing it. there's a story behind it and i'm going to get to it, but do me a favor and read the whole fic first, and THEN the footnotes. thanks, see you on the other side.

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"Kendall, sweetie. Can you hear me?"' The woman pleads, begs.

"It's no use, Jennifer. He's in his own world now." A man appears behind her, startling her. He places a comforting hand on her shoulder and they exchange tear-filled glances. The woman, deciding not to acknowledge what the man says, replies,

"Did you talk to Jen about the insurance?" The man nods. He's rubbing comforting circles into his wife's back, but stops to wrap his arms around her shapely waist and hug her close to him. He can feel her tremor beneath his grasp, coming apart like a pastry. He pressed comforting butterfly kisses against the nape of her neck. The reaction was minute but any comfort he could provide to his wife was a miracle to him, especially in a situation like this.

"I did." He confirmed, resting his head on her shoulder. "She said that they can cover most of it," His voice was soft, wavering slightly. "But we have to pay for the biofeedback therapy and for the embalming." He wondered for a minute if he shouldn't have mentioned it, for what little tension Jennifer had shed with his comforting kisses was back tenfold— her body began to tremble and the man shook his head, amazed at how even in the privacy of the hospital room, she wasn't going to let herself cry.  
"It's okay to cry, honey." He said as comfortingly as possible. He moved to unlatch himself from her back, but he was pulled back as she grabbed both of his hands to her chest in a death grip.  
She said nothing.  
"I talked to the doctors about the Biofeedback." He begins hesitantly, afraid to tell his wife this very important piece of information for two reasons: One, the state she was already in and Two, he very well might cry himself trying to get the words out. "They said that Kendall is one of the worst cases they've seen, but that they've dealt with low-functioning ASD before, so treatment can be carried out as normal. But the problem is," He gulped. "Because of the meningitis, his brain tissue is still slightly inflamed. Nothing critical or life-threatening," He adds quickly, feeling Jennifer stiffen, red hair frizzy and frayed. He struggles to think of what to say next before deciding_ just be honest _and blurts out, band aid-quick, "Jen, we're the luckiest parents on earth that he came out of comatose in just two days. Hell, we're lucky he escaped the coma at al—"  
"Nathan. What are you saying, exactly?" Her sad voice is quiet pinpricks, poking gaping holes in his resolve.  
"The treatment might not do much for him, if at all." He gushes, a confession pouring out of his mouth like blood. He feels her go limp in his grasp, turns her around and pulls her into his chest.  
"Why would this happen to us?" She stutters, chokes out in between sobs in a voice pregnant with emotion. "We lost everything, Nathan! Both of our kids are gone—"  
"Don't say that. Don't you dare say that." His voice is firm, strong and silencing, his light green gaze meets with her own hazel one, flickering with fire and ice and determined **force**.  
"We have _not _lost our kids. Yes, Katelyn may not be with us anymore but Kendall is still here. Don't give up on him, Jen, because I can't do it alone— God damn it, I** won't **do it. Not without you." A few tears of his own cascaded down his face, imperfect crystalline orbs exploding unceremoniously on fiery red hair. He clung to her and she clung to him, their tears staining their shirts.  
"I won't do it without you," He repeated, voice wavering, quiet, but firm. And she nodded, she nodded for all she was worth and buried her face in his chest.  
"I will, Nathan."  
It's going to be hard, he warned her. Autism isn't a walk in the park. She reaches up and kissed him, an empty gesture that meant so much more than words could describe, and choked out,  
"I wouldn't have it any other way."  
As they left, Kendall stared into space with unseeing glassy eyes, a ghost of a smile on his face. Jennifer wondered what was going on in his mind. She wondered where he was. If Katie was there, if Nathan was there, if she was there. And as she shut the door behind her, walked out of the St. Peter's hospital(for what was certainly not the last time), she realized with a sad smile that as long as he was happy, it didn't matter to her where he was.  
_Even if it wasn't with her._

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**a/n:** i'm going to be honest. i'm not 100% sure what happens in this. like, my main point to address was that BTR wasnt real and kendall was living his fantasies in his head, but i don't know what happens to make him get brain damage and katie to get killed. i was thinking a car accident, but it's up for interpretation.

now, the story behind this is that as anyone who has read any of my fics before knows, my brother has ASD(autism spectrum disorder). when he turned two, he just didn't wake up one day and it turns out the lining of his brain was swollen- he was in a coma for two days(_sound familiar?_). and before my parents tried biofeedback on him(biofeedback is this therapy where they hook you up to a machine and sort of straighten out the waves in your brain), all he would do was sit in a chair and stare at the wall. that was literally the repertoire of his entire childhood. but anyway now he's a lot better, so, yay!

please do review, babies. i love you all. /grabs readers and snuggles into a large group hug

(_review or i'll kill you_)


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